Saturday Morning

This morning is the first morning in awhile that I've had completely to myself. It is the kind of morning where you open your eyes and stretch your body out and feel your toes crack and feel absolute bliss because you have no where you need to be and nobody you need to see. I woke up to a somewhat dreary morning, put on slippers and an oversized sweater that I keep next to my little bed, walked to the kitchen, and lit the stove with a match to begin brewing my coffee. It's quiet right now; I can look out the window of my flat and see stray dogs padding around the dumpsters and mothers walking to the market for Saturday shopping. I sat down with a small cup of very strong, dark coffee and I was looking back at the notebook I've been keeping throughout my time in Ukraine.

I found this excerpt towards the beginning of the notebook: "I like little lives. I like little apartments and people who go to work and come home to their family. I like good, purposeful work and being around the people I love. I like having my coffee; I like having my books. It's more than enough for me to have good work and a simple life. I think I could be happy forever in a small, Ukrainian town that nobody knows the name of..."

And that's true. I have developed such a deep appreciation for the tiniest things in my daily life, both in Ukraine and my life back in Oregon. People are all that really matter. I love the smallest of details about the people I am so lucky to have in my life. I almost feel spoiled that I have such wonderful people at home and I get to have wonderful people in Ukraine, too. It overwhelms me on a daily basis; how did I ever get so lucky to meet such good people so far away from home?

And though I feel incredibly lucky and blessed, I also feel sad. Because sometime in the not so very distant future, I will have to bid farewell to my life here and return home. But, I've learned that even though goodbyes are on the horizon, investing and loving those around me is STILL worth it. Adoring the children at the orphanage is still worth it, even though soon I'll just be another goodbye. If you're anything like me, whoever you are, you've been told that you're "too sensitive." And I'm here to tell you that whoever said that to you probably didn't notice and appreciate the tiniest, most beautiful details of this amazing life we get to live. Sensitivity is a beautiful thing, perhaps even a rare thing, and you don't need to apologize for it. Keep adoring those around you, keep noticing things, and keep pouring yourself into the cracks of other people. You'll have to say goodbye eventually, you will inevitably get hurt, but it is worth it and it is valuable.

So, here's to the remaining month (or so) of my wonderful, challenging, beautiful Ukrainian life. I plan to suck the marrow out of each and every day.